Feb. 29th, 2016

geekymommy: (Default)
I’ve noticed a habit in myself. My likes and dislike of certain topics depends heavily on the situation I am currently in. For instance, even before I got engaged, I began watching shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezilla”. The later actually became something my whole family took enjoyment in and I think if it were still on today, I probably would be watching it as long as the bride/groom in question was interesting enough. That show was full of psychology.

I tended to stay away from Forums. I spent exactly a day on The Knot, reading through some threads and participating in one before deciding these were not the people that I wanted to be associated with. I did find some online sites enjoyable like Off Beat Bride and a few other “alternative wedding” sites. Which I find kind funny looking back. My church ceremony was fairly traditional as long as you ignore the Final Fantasy Music that played in the beginning and I would say that other than the video game tournament we held during the reception that was also rather traditional. If there was anything that I took from these sites it was “You don’t need all the fluff if you can’t afford all the fluff” and “It’s your wedding. Do what you want.” I found that to be a nice message and much more helpful compared to The Knot’s “THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO DO IT!” and my favorite bit of advice from them: “If you get no confirmation from a guest, you can’t assume they won’t show up. Pay for their meal anyway”.

The wedding came and went a little over a year ago and my interest in anything wedding has dropped substantially. I think this is normal for most women (except some of the women from the Knot who seem to stick around the forums for years just to tell brides to be how they are doing it wrong). I’ve seen Say yes to the Dress and reruns of Bridezilla pop up from time to time and I just can’t bring myself to watch them.

Now, I’m pregnant and while I’ve said before that I want nothing to do with any online forums for pregnancy and mothering, I do find myself really enjoying reading old Live journal Drama from Parenting 101, Parent Drama, Stupid free, WTF Pregnancy and many others. Why read the drama instead of actual parenting advice and positive places? I don’t know. Maybe I want to see the “darkside” of parenting so I know what not to do. Though some of the situations that were told on those forums were very obvious in what not to do and how to react. Maybe as a first time mother I am very worried about how this whole thing will play out and seeing these mothers and fathers do so badly makes me feel that I can’t possibly be any worse than them.

However after reading from these communities-most of which became inactive between 2009 and 2010, I find myself wanting to be involved in something that is more up to date.

So far, I’ve began following three groups on facebook: Mommies Helping Mommies and STFU Parents and Santimommy. My love for drama continues. Though Mommies Helping Mommies does seem like a nice group that really are there for each other. Good for them. I haven’t actually commented or made a post in any of these groups yet but I can see it happening one day. I just don’t really have need for any advice right now that wouldn’t make more sense to ask any of the many professional health care providers that are available for questions rather than asking strangers on the internet.

We did cave and post a general pregnancy announcement on facebook when we found out about the gender of the baby. Mainly it was for my families benefit. We don’t tend to talk to each other so telling one family member doesn’t guarantee the others will find out. I had planned on sending out pregnancy announcements but between having to send that and then send a baby shower invitation it all felt like wedding planning 2.0. Facebook was just easier and now I don’t have to worry about it.

Will my interest in parenting and pregnancy blogs and social media drop off once the baby comes? Probably not since parenting doesn’t stop for the next 18 years or more. I’m sure over time I’ll be more interested in parenting through different ages and stages. Do they make parenting groups for parents with teenagers? They should.


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